“Asking ‘why?’ is a valid question for a period, but it’s not a place you want to live. You have to make a conscious decision not to live in that place.” -Phil Cohen

 

All of us have experienced loss- whether it’s a person, a job, a relationship, or a property. And we know so well that there’s no way to describe the intensity of the pain we have to go through.

During the grieving process, we see everything in black and the question of ‘why?’ only made it worse. We seek answers to make sense of what happened, but there’s nothing. Eventually, we drown in grief and can’t seem to get out .

Therefore, it’s important to understand that grief isn’t something we can just get over with. It’s a natural, healthy response to loss. It may feel like we’ll never be able to move on, but if we let ourselves get stuck in that place, our loss will only have more power over us. 

It often takes a long time and a lot of effort to move forward— we just have to be patient. We remember we grieve, we heal— but we don’t have to do all of those things at once. 

The day Phil Cohen lost his son was also the day he almost lost himself. Every single day of the search and rescue operation was filled with anguish and also hope that his son, Perry, who was only 14 at that time, would be safe and alive. The darkest days eventually came when he was told that his son might never be found again. To a parent, this would be a death sentence. Years later, we see Phil still remembering every moment of that day- but no longer with a heavy heart, but as a man with passion and sincerity.

Listen in as Phil and I talk about where we can catch a gleamer of hope when we feel we can never recover from our pain, the unspoken truths about grief, the 3 R’s of healing (Reflect, Repair, React), how we can surpass the stage of acceptance and live our purpose, and a fine lesson about weathering the storms from cows and buffaloes. 

 

Connect The Modern Man:

 

Highlights: 

  • 02:45 A Really Bad Storm
  • 05:14 Misconceptions About Grief
  • 10:48 Where Focus Goes, Energy Flows
  • 15:40 The Lies Men Were Taught to Believe
  • 19:47 The 3 R’s of 
  • 22:11 How to Surpass Acceptance
  • 26:08 Recap

 

Tweets: 

We’ve heard that the last stage of grief is acceptance. So what comes after? Discover how to surpass the acceptance stage with @TheModernMan8 and speaker/coach Phil Cohen. #TheModernMan #podcast #men #posttraumaticgrowth #grief #loss #grief #healing #transformation #purpose #RealMenCry

 

Quotes: 

09:35 “I knew that if I was going to survive, I had to let that go.” -Phil Cohen

10:16 “Grief is different for different people… But [in going through] the process of taking that one step infront of the other, you will have something to wake up excited again.” Ted Phaeton

10:54 “Where focus goes, energy flows.” -Phil Cohen

12:15 “Asking ‘why?’ is a valid question for a period, but it’s not a place you want to live. You have to make a conscious decision not to live in that place.” -Phil Cohen

13:42 “Sometimes how we grieve can also be how we choose to honor the ones that we’ve lost.” -Phil Cohen

15:18 “Men swallow their pain and go on about their day as it happened— That can be dangerous.” -Ted Phaeton

17:00 “Healing doesn’t mean forgetting.” -Phil Cohen

19:24 “Grief— we run away from it, and it’s not until we let it catch us that we ended up getting more embraced in it.” -Ted Phaeton

20:38 “It doesn’t mean that we’re grieving wrong if we still find ourselves missing that person. It’s still okay to do that.” -Phil Cohen

22:48 “None of us are going to make it out of this life unscathed. All of us are going to experience some sort of storm. And the only choice we have is how we respond to that storm.” -Phil Cohen

24:54 “When you’re ready to face that storm, you will eventually surpass acceptance.” -Phil Cohen

 

Meet Phil: 

 

Working with high-achieving professionals, executives, and entrepreneurs, Phil utilizes practices that help cultivate a greater sense of ease and well-being while coping with grief. Guiding clients through three pillars; Reflect, Repair, and Restart, Phil brings a unique and compassionate coaching style to equip men to tackle grief in a way that not only serves them but those around them. His immersive sessions are designed to establish a personalized plan and provide a pathway to move through your grief journey.