“Own reality. Your reality is far from your expectations” -Jim Barnard
Feeling powerless is one of those feelings that we never want to experience. It leads us to an expectation gap, where our reality isn’t what we wanted or hoped for. It’s a hard place to be especially if something or someone important to us is at stake.
But feeling powerless, sometimes, can be a powerful motivator. It can force us to take action and lead us to new opportunities. This episode is a reminder that although our current reality falls short of expectations, we can still make the best out of it, and even be a guiding light to others.
This week, Coach Jim Barnard joins me in an inspiring conversation about not giving up and finding courage despite adversities. Jim suffered from depression when his parents divorced. Just when he thought he found healing, his courage and faith would soon be tested once again when his wife Alicia suffered a mysterious disease. Seeing his wife wasting away and the insurance company withdrawing their support, Jim felt helpless and could only hold his wife’s hand. What helped Jim overcome his situation?
Tune in as Jim and I talk about finding power when we feel powerless, owning our reality, showing up consistently, managing our fear of expectations, and serving others along the way.
Connect The Modern Man:
Highlights:
- 01:19 The Expectation Gap
- 07:19 When Men Feel Powerless
- 12:38 The Power of Showing Up
- 21:42 First Step: Own Your Reality
- 25:55 How to Manage the Fear of Expectations
- 28:38 Last Step: Serve Others
Resources:
Book
Tweets:
We will all suffer adversity in one form or the other and in different intensities. There are times when we can easily wiggle our way out, but there are times when there seems to be no answer to our problem. Tune in as @TheModernMan8 and Jim Barnard, the author of The Suffering Guy share where we can find power when we feel powerless. #TheModernMan #podcast #adversities #community #expectationgap #power #hope #fear #ownyourreality #showup #serve #healing
Quotes:
01:57 “We typically hide when we’re in the expectation gap, and that’s the exact wrong thing to do.” -Jim Barnard
02:24 “We become reclusive when we can’t seem to figure things out, which doesn’t always work out to our benefit.” -Ted Phaeton
13:38 “Just showing up, being present, staying consistent on that— I guess I’ve done better than I thought.” -Jim Barnard
18:51 “We become reclusive when we can’t seem to figure things out, which doesn’t always work out to our benefit.” -Jim Barnard
20:09 “If I didn’t have this reality, I don’t think I’d have that privilege.” -Jim Barnard
21:56 “When you become aware of the expectation gap in your life, the first place to start is to start with reality.” -Jim Barnard
22:32 “Own reality. Your reality is far from your expectations” -Jim Barnard
23:58 “When we stop and look around the reality of where we are, usually the road to that destination isn’t as far as we thought.” -Ted Phaeton
27:13 “Take that moment and find gratitude right then and there. If you’re not doing that, the fear is going to keep growing like a snowball.” -Jim Barnard
28:48 “The last step is serving other people because it helps you not take yourself too seriously.” -Jim Barnard
Meet Jim:
Jim Barnard is a coach, pastor, and inspiration. He the book The Suffering Guy to help others overcome expectation gaps. From a young age, Jim suffered from depression when his parents divorced. He saw the light in the tunnel when he met Jesus and thought that everything is good as long as people are smiling. However, the darkest moment of his life came when his wife, Alicia suffered from a mysterious disease 3 months into their marriage. Negative emotions began to flood and he felt powerless as a man and husband. For the past 15 years of watching his wife waste away, Jim finally realized that he was receiving all the help he needed at every stage. Today, Jim is determined to give his time for free to coach others who are going through disappointments and dissatisfaction in life.