“Every guy has the opportunity to be a great father. Just know you’re going to be a little freaked out first. But you’re a student again for the first time and it’s important that you have to learn. You will make mistakes along the way but admitting to them will make you a great parent.”
Welcome to the first official episode of The Modern Man Podcast— Connecting Men in Pursuit of Their Potential!
For this special episode, I want to talk about a topic that most of us have been asking for so long- how to be a father.
Having a child does not necessarily make a man a father. To be a “father”, one must have the courage and the heart for it. It’s a lifetime commitment and a legacy.
A lot of first-time fathers are afraid that they will not be able to handle the responsibilities of fatherhood. This can be a major source of stress for some men, especially for the father who has to figure out how to take care of his newborn while also figuring out how to be there for his wife. And it’s even harder if he did not have a father figure to look up to while growing up.
It’s important to remember though that being a great father does not mean perfection, rather having the willingness to spend time, grow patience, and make a dedication to becoming one.
This week, I got to sit down with Kendall Smith, the author of Rookie Father: A Playbook for Men Experiencing Fatherhood for the First Time. Raised by a single mother, Kendall did not have an immediate male role model. But this did not stop him from becoming the great father that he is today. He learned by observing other people, talking to them, and discovering things as he became a father himself.
Kendall and I discuss how fathers and fathers-to-be can overcome the challenge of time management, handling finances, setting priorities, building a strong bond with their kids, and working as a team with their spouses, even if they are not together anymore. And, more importantly. for men who are not yet fathers like me, how do we know if we are ready to take on that role? Kendall also answers that and more!
Fellas, please enjoy this episode of The Modern Man!
#Letsgrow
Connect The Modern Man:
Highlights:
- 02:20 Entering Fatherhood
- 06:52 Fatherhood and Time Management
- 11:31 How to Manage Finances
- 14:51 It’s YOUR Legacy
- 18:23 Meeting the Challenge of Co-Parenting
- 21:02 How to Support Your Spouse
- 23:38 Setting Priorities Straight
- 25:40 Are Ready to Be a Father?
Resources:
Tweets:
First-time fatherhood is an exciting part of a man’s life, but it also presents many challenges and thoughts on how to be successful at it. Join @TheModernMan8 and @RookieFather author, Kendall Smith as they discuss what truly makes a man a great father! #TheModernMan #podcast #men #firstepisode #rookiefather #fatherhood #parenting #timemanagement #finances #marriagebond #fatherchildrelationship #teamwork #coparenting #fatherhoodlegacy
Quotes:
06:54 “If you’re an expectant father or your child’s under a year old, that first year of their life is your sabbatical from your hobbies.” -Kendall Smith
07:15 “Daily consistency helps. It provides children with a little more security and comfort and it helps you in the bonding process. It’s tremendous.” -Kendall Smith
13:42 “A lot of parents who are now retired and enjoying being able to spend time with their kids and grandkids— that enjoyment and freedom was because of the decisions they made earlier.” -Ted Phaeton
16:21 “Every guy has the opportunity to be a great father. Just know you’re going to be a little freaked out first. But you’re a student again for the first time and it’s important that you have to learn. You will make mistakes along the way but admitting to them will make you a great parent.” -Kendall Smith
20:29 “If the authority just comes from one parent, children are going to learn really quick how to manipulate. It becomes almost a house divided if there’s no unity in the way discipline is administered.” -Ted Phaeton
21:54 “Alleviating the tensions that exist in the home in any way is going to make you a better dad, even though it is separating whites from colors and doing the laundry.” -Kendall Smith
24:17 “It’s not a distinction between the marriage or the children. It’s a blend of the two. But ultimately, the key thing is that you have to make decisions together as a couple.” -Kendall Smith
24:52 “As long as you and your wife are on the same page, that’s going to be the foundation that gives your children much more structure and chance for success.” -Kendall Smith
27:04 “There’s no ideal right moment. It stems when you found the right woman.” -Kendall Smith
30:18 “Embrace every single moment with your child because they can’t be replaced. You can build your career later, you can build your business later, and you can get back to work later. Make those memories while you still can.” -Ted Phaeton
Meet Kendall:
Kendall Smith lives in New Jersey, has been married for 17 years, and has an eight-year-old son named Connor. He works by day in the digital industry and in the mornings as an author. His literary work covers a range of subject matter, including the thriller, Vault 21-12 (Percussion Publishing / 2015) and he dabbles in political satire.