“We know what we’re capable of, therefore, we suppress it. It’s capable of so much bad and it’s capable of as much good in the world. And we’re robbing the world of that good by completely dismissing it.” -Dylan Roos
Boys are often taught that being a man is about being tough, taking charge, and never showing weakness. This idea is so deeply embedded in our culture that it’s hard to even imagine that it could be wrong.
But this view of masculinity can be extremely damaging to boys who are being raised by parents who believe that “tough” is the only thing that matters in life. It’s time for us to challenge this idea and discover the path to real manhood. It’s time we transform into real men—men who are strong, but also kind and compassionate.
This week, I got to sit down with Masculinity Coach and Mentor, Dylan Roos. Dylan’s mission is to help young boys transition to manhood through The Prince to King Method. Once a troubled young man, Dylan understood what it felt like to lose a sense of direction and to drown in overwhelming emotions. But Dylan also learned that being a man takes courage to embrace the discomfort that growth brings.
Listen in as we discuss the biggest drivers to our perception of masculinity, how we can heal our wounds as men, how comfort makes us sick, how to deal with isolation and loneliness in men, and how being vulnerable brings more benefit than we can imagine.
Connect The Modern Man:
Highlights:
- 01:44 The Transition from Boys to Men
- 05:34 How Important Role Models Are
- 10:32 Why Toxic is Not for Masculinity
- 14:56 Comfort— A Modern-Day Plague
- 18:26 Isolation and Loneliness in Men
- 23:23 Vulnerability is Real Strength
- 29:05 Create a New Reality
- 33:59 The Danger Behind What Society Values Most
- 38:44 Choose Your Role Model
- 41:32 Recap
Resources:
Book
Tweets:
As a society, we’ve all been exposed to the idea that boys need to be tough and aggressive to be “real men.” But the truth is that this is a dangerous view of masculinity. Tune in as TheModernMan8 and Masculinity Coach Dylan Roos describe what the journey from boyhood to manhood looks like. #TheModernMan #podcast #menpotential #boystomen #malerolemodels #manhood #masculinity #vulnerability #community
Quotes:
04:43 “So many of us, as boys, look for that validation that we’re a man. And unfortunately, sometimes we look for that validation in self-deprecating ways.” -Ted Phaeton
06:05 “We need a blueprint to look at and this isn’t even an option. We do it subconsciously. It’s just, who are we modeling our behavior off of?” -Dylan Roos
07:53 “When we’re looking for a path to be in in the world, we tend to go right into what we identify with. And unfortunately, it’s not always the best thing.” -Ted Phaeton
13:41 “We know what we’re capable of, therefore, we suppress it. It’s capable of so much bad and it’s capable of as much good in the world. And we’re robbing the world of that good by completely dismissing it.” -Dylan Roos
14:53 “The disease of today is comfort… Men are 100% made. But we now live in a culture that is so comfortable, that we are no longer used to pain and discomfort. And because we’re no longer used to it, we no longer seek it out, either.” -Dylan Roos
18:31 “When you’re hungover and alone, that’s the worst hangover… When you’ve got people around you, it makes the suffering bearable.” -Dylan Roos
20:17 “It’s not even the fact that people aren’t asking sometimes— it’s [because] we’re not opening up.”-Ted Phaeton
22:47 “Vulnerability breeds vulnerability. We don’t need more people posting on social media about awareness. We need real people having conversations in their day-to-day lives and leading with vulnerability.” -Dylan Roos
24:02 “The thing about a suit of armor is we like to walk around like there are no vulnerabilities and it’s clean. But a clean suit of armor has never been to battle.” -Ted Phaeton
25:11 “We associate vulnerability as weakness… We need to rewire that when you’re vulnerable, you’re strong.” -Dylan Roos
31:35 “Doing the work gets worse because you’re pulling away everything that used to make you feel good and now you have to sit in the discomfort of the reality of your life. Maybe that’s not a good reality but you now can create a new reality from that place.” -Dylan Roos
38:17 “The reality is we’re holding on to an identity based on the title. If you take your title away, do you no longer feel empowered?” -Ted Phaeton
41:46 “No man is a template. But we can take a little bit from so many.” -Ted Phaeton
Meet Dylan:
Dylan Roos is a masculinity coach and mentor. During his high school years, Dylan was an achiever. He was a prefect, school leader, and captain of the basketball team. However, like many youths, Dylan also lost his direction. He was studying a course he did not like, he had drinking problems, he broke up with his partner, and started neglecting his health.
He went from a perfect life to an absolute low. But Dylan knew it was not the life he wanted. He asked for help and was finally able to identify what the problem was. He was able to overcome his depression and anxiety and get on with his personal development journey.
Today, Dylan found his purpose in helping young boys to reach their full potential through his The Prince to King Method™.
Author: Ted Phaeton
“The Modern Man” is a series focused on discussing the challenges and obstacles men face in today’s society. It is an open forum of discussion where thoughts, strategies and ideas of men living a happy and fulfilled life are explored. The Modern Man aims to create a community of men not only sharing and connecting on a deeper level, but also exploring how to thrive and live a happy and fulfilled life. This is done through intentional conversations strategically aimed at issues that men face in today’s society.
